Let’s face it, nobody likes to get dumped! Whether you’re the one breaking the relationship off or the one on the receiving end of the breakup, it sucks for both parties involved. The reality is two people opened their hearts to the vulnerability of love and in the end it didn’t work out. It’s risky but in order to find love, it’s a risk that must be taken.
So, the other night I was scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook and I came across a friend’s post that stated, “This is for couples who flaunt their love on Facebook, then suddenly go quiet after they break up. You need to tell us exactly what happened. We invested a lot of time, likes and comments on your pictures and posts. We need closure as well.” I immediately felt exposed and was certain that even though she had hundreds of friends on Facebook, she posted this specifically with me in mind. I mean, I guess it could have been my conscious talking, but either way, I suddenly began feeling pressure to provide my friends on Facebook with some sense of…closure. But how—where—what would I say—why?
To be honest, I went quiet after the breakup because I was hurt and needed some time to just process things. I guess I was also feeling a sense of shame—I mean—with my history of failed relationships, this was just one more stamp on my belt. Not to mention, I totally thought he was the one.
Failure stinks because it often exposes our weaknesses, but at the same time some of our greatest accomplishments will come after failure. With every risk we take there is a possibility of things not working out the way we hoped and we cannot allow the fortuity of failing dictate our willingness to take chances.
Everyone experiences failure, there’s just no way around it. So if you’re tempted to wallow in the depths of despair after a breakup or failure, just remember, “weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning” Psalm 30:5.
The pain of the loss will eventually fade and hope for brighter days will lead the way. YOU BE ENCOURAGED!!!
It’s Valentine’s Day! For the fourth year in a row, I’m celebrating it alone. I thought for sure this year I would have someone special to celebrate with—other than my four children. I see all these lovely couples expressing their love for one another through boxes of chocolates, flowers, gifts and cards. I can’t help but wonder when my day for love will arrive.
Now don’t get me wrong, I would rather be alone on Valentine’s Day than with the wrong person, but in my heart I have a desire for companionship. A longing to love and be loved through the good and the bad, the ups and downs, until death do us part. Yes, I’m talking holy matrimony! My days of dating for fun or for something to do are over—O-V-E-R—OVER!
The truth is, I dream of the day that I will be found by the man God has in mind for me Proverbs 18:22. Despite my history of failed relationships, the childhood dream in my heart of being rescued by my knight in shining armor is still there. The desire to be sought after, fought for, loved and protected has remained and I believe that we can trust the dreams that God has placed in our hearts Psalm 37:4.
Now, if your love life looks anything like mine, waiting for God to bring the right one can feel like an eternity. Nevertheless, I am going to give you some very practical tips to make the best of the waiting.
- Spend time pursuing the dreams in your heart and discovering new hobbies (i.e. run a marathon, hiking, fitness class, reading, cooking etc.) It will be nearly impossible to make someone else happy if you don’t know what makes you happy. Not to mention, marriage requires time and attention, so make the most out of your singlehood.
- Volunteer for a local charity (i.e. soup kitchen, homeless shelter or a nursing home.) Considering marriage requires selfless service, sacrifice and serving one another. This will be good preparation, as well as, the joy you will experience by helping others.
- Get to know yourself and try new things, even if you have no one to go with you and you have to do them alone (i.e. go to the movies, go canoeing, beach etc.) Don’t miss out on the opportunity to spend time with yourself.
- Pamper and take good care of yourself. Just because you don’t have a significant other does not mean you can’t get your nails or hair done. To attract the best, you got to feel your best!
- Last, and what I believe to be most important, is setting some time aside and developing a relationship with God. Spend some time pursuing God and discovering the love he has for you. This will enable you to pour that love onto your significant other when the time comes.